Jaya and Dileep was going on a road trip to the neighboring
state for vacation with their two daughters- Meena and Chinju. Meena is 10 years old and Chinju is 13 years old. Every two – three years, they go from Kerala to Tamil Nadu to visit Velankani Church. On the way back they usually visit Mysore too. Meena was
cranky because her mother woke her up before sunrise to get ready for the trip.
Her favorite part of the road trip was site seeing. First thing she did when
she got in to the car was lower her windows. She loves to feel the soft wind
touching her face while the car moves. On the way to Mysore, they passed the Eucalyptus
trees. While everyone seems to enjoy the fragrance of Eucalyptus, the smell
only made her carsickness worse. They passed the Eucalyptus trees and continued
their journey through a road that cuts through forest. Meena spotted a dear
while they were on their way.
Meena- “MOM, MOMMMMMM, look there is a deer. Stop the car! I
want to take a closer look at the deer. Dad, stop the car! I want to take the
deer with us.
Dileep-“ No Meena, we cannot stop the car now! This area is
filled with wild elephants and other wild animals”.
Meena started throwing a tantrum, finally dileep stopped the
car. However he spotted some wild elephants coming at their way. Dileep decided
to take off.
Meena- "I want you to stop the car now! I want that deer".
Dileep tried to explain why he cannot stop the car now and
they might get in danger if they did stop the car.
Meena started crying again
Jaya- "Dear, I agree that the deer is so beautiful and why you wanted to have it. You are not the only one who wanted a deer. Let me tell you a story".
Meena looked up to her mother wiping her tears off
Jaya- “Once up on a time there was a prince named Rama, who
fell in loved with a beautiful princess named Sita. After their marriage, Rama’s
step mother tricked Rama's father in to banishing Rama to the forest for fourteen
years. The loving wife Sita and loyal brother Lakshma accompanied Rama in to forest. One day Sita saw a beautiful deer wandering by their home in the forest. She has never laid her eyes on something as beautiful as this creature. She mentioned to Rama how beautiful the deer and that she must have it. To fulfill his beautiful wife's wish, Rama set out to catch the deer even though he knew something was not right about the deer. Little did they knew that the deer was Maricha- a rakshasa. Maricha disguised as this golden deer as per the instruction of Ravana, the rakshasa king who wanted to kidnap Sita. Rama told Sita to stay where she is and to Lakshmana, he asked to never leave Sita's side till he returned. Lakshmana warned both of them against going after the deer. However, Rama was oblivious about his surrounding because he wanted to grant Sita's wish so bad. Ravana took the opportunity to abduct Sita while Rama went after the deer. After searching for Sita several times and after many wars Rama was finally able to get Sita back from Ravana."
Jaya continued saying " Look dear, you cannot be oblivious to your surroundings. It will invite danger like Sita and Rama."
Meena realized her mistake and said sorry to both Jaya and Dileep.
Jaya continued saying " Look dear, you cannot be oblivious to your surroundings. It will invite danger like Sita and Rama."
Meena realized her mistake and said sorry to both Jaya and Dileep.
 |
| Rama and Sita |
Link to the original story
http://ouocblog.blogspot.com/search/label/PDE%20Ramayana
Bibliography
Gibbs, Laura. "Ramayana Public Domain Edition". Web blog post. Indian Epics: Images and PDE Epics. 18 April 2014.Web.02 September 2015.
Bibliography
Gibbs, Laura. "Ramayana Public Domain Edition". Web blog post. Indian Epics: Images and PDE Epics. 18 April 2014.Web.02 September 2015.
G
Author's note
My parents and I used to go on road trips when I was little;
this story is inspired by that. I used to hate the Eucalyptus smell while
everyone stopped next to the road to inhale in the fragrance. I loved the story
of Rama and Sita and I was wondering how I can put it in to storytelling and a
road trip idea came in to my mind while I was driving back to my apartment from
library one day. I wanted people to think about what’s going on around them
before they jump in to doing something. I am hoping that this story will help
to get that point across the readers. For example, I was browsing at mall and
stopped at Michael Kors and saw a beautiful watch and I wanted to just get it
right then, even though I went over my budget that month. I ended up getting it
and had to return it realizing I couldn’t afford it then. I felt like it was so
stupid that I felt like I must have it when I could go without it and I became
so oblivious about how I will pay my bills and other necessary items if I went
and bought this watch.
Hello Anu!
ReplyDeleteYour story was really good. You had little typo where you mentioned the "deer" but you wrote the word "dear". However, in the next sentence your corrected yourself with the right word. One thing about spell check is that it doesn't correct the word if it's written in the wrong context, it just looks to see if the word is written incorrectly. I liked the context behind the story before you talked about the epic. I would probably explain better what a Eucalyptus Tree is, you could probably describe what it looks like, where it usually is grown, what it smells like. I have heard people mention the word Eucalyptus tree, but I never had an idea of what it was until I googled the term. Since you went on road trips when you were little, I would have liked to see a little bit more imagery. Dig deep into your memory, back when you went on your road trips and put that into the story.
Anu,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you incorporated the original story into a story of your own that was similar. It was interesting to see how the story of Rama and Sita and the deer was used to instruct on the dangers of being too greedy and too oblivious, like a fable. I also really like the imagery you used with the feeling of the wind through the car windows. It makes me want to go on a road trip soon!
Anu I loved reading your story! Your story had some pretty important morals that can be applied to the readers life. Sometimes things that are desirable are not always beneficial and can even be harmful. I loved how you retold the story in your own words.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Anu's!. The change of setting was really good way to put a twist on the story. I liked how you change the epic into almost a children story with a moral at the end of it. There was a small mistake where you used "dear" instead of "deer" but that is not a big problem. One change that would make leaps and bounds for your story is to use a different word than "deer." As i Went through the story that word got repetitive. Changing it out for "It" or any other type of word would make your story flow smother. I like the dialogue between characters. It matched their age group pretty well. I liked how you did not use too much imagery in the story. I think if you added some or rephrased your wording, it of taken away from the children storytelling method you had going,
ReplyDelete